I, for one, never found rest in the teachings of the Rabbis.
Some of
their words are Wisdom, to be sure, but much of it is folly, or simply misses
the mark and is formulated clumsily, and I would not, could not, submit to
their authority. I could not ignore the signals my Heart was giving me that
something was not quite right, or that there is Truth (Torah) infinitely deeper
than they were teaching.
It was when I began to feel the echoes of the Mothers in my Bones,
it was when I learned to use the Eyes they bequeathed to me correctly and began
to see God through their eyes that I began to understand Torah on the level
that spoke to my Soul and my Body and my Mind.